There’s a subject that’s been gnawing at me for a little while and that’s the similarities between vampire lore and dickgirls. Ok, so a few of you are probably rolling your eyes thinking “another article about dickgirls”. Well, yeah ok, but! It’s not really just an article about dickgirls. In fact, the most common factor vampires and characters such as Cerene and Lanessa share is their transformative nature.
Right, first a little bit of background. Vampires are present in literature, popular culture, religion and myth for the past several thousands of years. In fact, archeologists discovered one of the earliest cases of a “vampire” corpse (basically a dead dude with a stake through his heart), in none other than Lesbos. I mean, that alone is sexier than all of the Twilight books combined. Yup, a group of Lesbians deliberately buried and impaled that poor dude under a building to ensure he never rose again. I guess to avoid him eating out – I mean eating Lesbians (the capital L is key here… or not).
Vampires are present all over the world, in a remarkably similar fashion. From the Nure-onna in Japan (a female figure) to the Yara-ma-yha-who in Aboriginal lore and of course the Romanian Vampir or Moroi. A while back I mentioned that an ex of mine from Transylvania told me that one of the identifying factors of a vampire was a colossal erection. Furthermore, her giving me a handjob whilst telling me this useful piece of information really helped hammer it home. So you can see the rather strong link to characters such as Cerene. I mean if you’re looking for a massive erection, look no further.
Then, in 1897 Bram Stoker writes Count Dracula, a smooth, sophisticated vampire from Romania who arrives in England to feed. One of the victims he bites is the innocent nineteen-year-old virgin Lucy Westenra. This “pure” young woman then goes on a mad blood fest biting women and children throughout London.
Her transformation also turns her into a highly promiscuous and damned sexy babe. This equally draws on the popular myths of the time surrounding consumption (tuberculosis). Back then, the disease although frequently fatal, actually appealed to a lot of people. Symptoms would include pale skin, wasting away and growing thin and gaunt, and apparently (although this is probably just a myth) increased libido and therefore promiscuity. All of these elements are present in the romanticized version of the vampire created in the 19th century.
If you ask me everyone should get bitten by a vampire if the outcome is increased sexual arousal. Now, once more – it’s possible to draw parallels with Sophie in Bloodlust. From “innocent” (who also gives great head mind you) duchess to sex-crazed dickgirl. I also love the fact that her transformation in Bloodlust is unique, in that she has no balls. She’s, in a sense, a pure dickgirl. Maybe her powers are therefore lesser – just like Lucy compared to Dracula?
Fast forward to the nineties and you get classics like Interview with a Vampire. I dare you to find a more homoerotic take on vampire transformation in popular movie culture. And whilst it’s not exactly dickgirl material, it continues on with the very strong theme of sexual and lustful creatures. And it’s still just as phallic.
I mean, just think about it, the very concept of impaling someone (i.e. Vlad the Impaler). 3DX is full of “impaling”. Ok, true it’s not quite the same shape and not quite as pointy, but the Dude’s or Miro’s dickgirls’ cocks certainly do a lot of it. Cerene embodies the notion of transformation – using her assets to turn in and out of a dickgirl at will and in so doing seduce her “victims”. Lanessa, on the other hand, apparently loves the idea of remaining in dickgirl form.
And then there’s the dark vs light concept. I hate to bring it up but Twilight and 21st-century vampire literature and culture deal with a different type of vampire – one both good and evil, between light and dark. Again, Lanessa with her dark and light personas embodies this contradiction.
Miro told us to share our thoughts on Lanessa’s background. So what if she and Cerene were in fact creatures of the night, fucking and sucking their way from Lesbos to London, New England, and Transylvania? Can’t say I wouldn’t want to find myself in their path at some point.
Whilst all of the aforementioned creatures are not strictly speaking blood sucking sexy babes, they all share a great many characteristics. Firstly they lust after something. That may be blood (maybe from a bulging cock?), happiness or simply a chance to get back at the living. And so do dickgirls and most 3DX creatures. Indeed, these misunderstood creatures just want to be loved – or in any case to fuck their brains out over and over.