Last month, Elayn and I covered Double Penetration. Since DP is a specific form of group sex, much of that applies to this analysis as well. Especially since threesomes, the group generally associated with DP, was the most popular grouping.
We know that people get off on their particular fetishes, but is it possible to have too much of a good thing? Our latest poll results on group sex indicate the answer is yes.
A total of 207 visitors took our poll, based on last month’s What’s Your Fetish column on the pleasures of group sex. The sample size of our unscientific poll is, as always, heavily skewed towards males. The results are a mix of the expected and unexpected:
- Threesomes are far more popular than a proper “orgy” (5+ partners). Overall, 45.9% of respondents chose the threesome as their preferred type of group sex.
- Orgies came in second place. About 28% of respondents preferred the orgy over the other responses.
- Traditional one-on-one sex remains popular. About 17.8% of respondents prefer just regular one-on-one sex. This percentage is surprisingly similar regardless of respondent gender.
- Foursomes didn’t get much love. Only 11% of respondents enjoy the foursome, which is a distinct category of group sex. It seems to be seen as a pointless middle ground between a threesome and an orgy.
- Dickgirls are popular in group sex. We’ve known from past surveys that dickgirls are tremendously popular at Affect3D.com. That said, 29% of respondents wanted to see more dickgirls than girls in any group sex scenario.
- More girls, girls girls! All respondents preferred to see more females than males in any form of group sex. A total of 46.8% of respondents prefer to see more vaginas than penises, whether those penises belonged to men or dickgirls. It’s no surprise men would want more options, but this sentiment was shared among 14 of our 24 non-male respondents (58.3%). Of those 24, 19 identified as female, four identified as male-to-female transgender and one person identified as female-to-male transgender. Only 15% of respondents preferred more penises than vaginas, a dynamic that would convert the group sex into more of a gangbang.
Why are threesomes so popular?
Threesomes were far and away the most popular choice in this poll, being the preferred scenario for nearly half (46.8%) of our respondents. Of those who chose threesome as their favorite group sex scenario, 89% wanted more girls (or dickgirls) than guys.
Given that the survey was male-dominated (individuals identifying as men represented 88.4% of respondents), this finding is no surprise. The threesome is a popular male fantasy and men want variety.
If porn is any indication, the “for-men” threesome always entails the two women indulging in some lesbian action. Yet a threesome with two men doesn’t usually involve the men having any contact (threesomes where the men do have sex are classified as “bisexual” threesomes).
Thus it’s no surprise that our survey data shows the prototypical for-men threesome as being the most popular among our respondents, who are mostly heterosexual men. Approximately 10.5% of our male respondents identified as bisexual or homosexual. Five male respondents did not indicate their orientation.
More isn’t always merrier
The traditional one-on-one sexual encounter came up surprisingly strong among all our respondents. About 18% of men and 16% of women who responded prefer the one-on-one scenario. While our limited sample size of female respondents always makes it difficult to draw conclusions about female sentiment, these percentages are interesting.
A longstanding stereotype holds that women tend to be more commitment-oriented than men, and being “a romantic” is a trait that would aid in being commitment-oriented. It’s more romantic to pay full attention to one partner than to deal with several, particularly if one gender outnumbers the other. Yet a sizeable minority of men indicated a preference for the more romantic, traditional one-on-one encounter.
Perhaps those individuals, male or female, who prefer the one-on-one to any type of group sex were thinking about their daily lives. Of course all men would like the odd threesome. In our more sexually permissive era, many women are able to freely explore threesomes as well. The data we’ve cited suggests in some metropolitan areas as many as one in three couples have tried adding a third. But it seems reasonable that some significant majority of people would prefer most of their sexual episodes to be with their significant other, and no one else.
More might be merrier, but more people probably prefer most of the sex they have to fit within a comfortable routine, just like any other aspect of their lives. And that routine is important to us, as we have a very powerful compulsion to return to the normative. A consensus among psychologists is that mental well-being requires life to be both comprehensible and predictable, and having a routine for something as primal as sex.
The philosophy of pleasure
Have we run into a theme of competing interests between “romantic” and/or routine sexual encounters, and group sex as a quantitative pleasure? Quite possibly. We discussed the topic of transgression before, and certainly this requires a routine that is disrupted by the transgression, then returned to afterwards. But is there more to it than that? How do we determine the value we place on our pleasures?
In philosophy, there are two kinds of value: intrinsic and instrumental. An intrinsic value is something that has value in and of itself. On the other hand, an instrumental value is an instrument that leads to an intrinsic value. So, if pleasure is intrinsically valuable, then sex has instrumental value because it produces pleasure.
Enter Hedonism, which says precisely that. Hedonism is a philosophy that states pleasure, and only pleasure, is intrinsically valuable. Everything else is instrumentally valuable if it leads to pleasure. Conversely, something that causes displeasure is not valuable. So, unless you are into BDSM, pain is not valuable. Hedonism is an easy philosophy to work with in determining the value of things in your life.
Quality vs quantity
A notable philosopher of hedonism is John Stuart Mill. In Utilitarianism, Mill states
It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied.
What he means here is that there are different qualities of pleasure, and an abundance of a lesser pleasure is worth less than a higher quality pleasure.
This, along with the psychological need for a predictable routine, may have something to do with why threesomes are the most popular group, and why one-on-one still had a strong representation. Sex is a very intimate act, even when sought out casually. To give an example, a deep, emotional connection is what the writer Elayn craves most from sex. To that end, the physical act itself is only about 10% of the pleasure from that perspective. A threesome is a novel curiosity, but it is also likely that it can still be a highly emotional experience.
However, it seems as if larger numbers become problematic for this emotive experience. The larger the number, the more difficult it seems not only to appreciatively attend to the participants, but to establish that deep emotional connection. It would seem then that while an orgy is still intriguing, the quality of pleasure could suffer in favor of quantity. To this end, a large orgy seems less likely to be a collective mass of writhing bodies, and more likely to be a roomful of smaller groups or one on one encounters.
Answers lead to more questions
What could this mean for polyamory, though? Could a polyamorous arrangement eventually lead to a group bond; or would it be limited to partner rotation to maintain emotional intimacy? Is there an ever present awkwardness born of unfamiliarity that presents us from developing a deep sexual bond with more than one person? Some think that evolution built us for casual sex. However, for that to be true, human offspring would have to be self sufficient at birth, which is not true. These are questions we would like to examine at some point in the future.
How do you feel? Is pleasure the same regardless of source, or do you feel more attracted to Mill’s valuation of pleasures? Are you a multitasking sex machine, or, like George Michael, do you feel sex is best when it’s one-on-one?
Sources:
- Digital Anthropology, edited by Heather A. Horst and Daniel Miller
- Hedonism, Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/hedonism/
- The Anthropology of Sex by Hastings Donnan and Fiona Magowan.
- Utilitarianism by John Stuart Mill
Image Sources:
http://www.hentai-foundry.com/pictures/user/cyprine/373381/Desk-job
https://calmdraws.tumblr.com/
http://www.hentai-foundry.com/pictures/user/Korothir/342117/Orgy-Celebration—Part-4-6
http://scienartic.deviantart.com/
jack pinder
April 1, 2017Ah, this pursuit continues. Thumbs up. Sounds as if we are not as adventurous as we would like to believe we are. It may be that fantasy 3DX is the only true answer to our hearts desires. Trust is such a hard commodity to find buried in a strangers lust